It’s taken me a while to get around to writing a serious post! The last few weeks have been such a rollercoaster of excitement, exhaustion and seemingly-Everest sized mountains to climb over. (To put this into context for anyone who doesn’t know, I just moved to Berlin for an exchange year, as part of my university degree).
I’ve felt so many different emotions that it’s hard to keep up with myself. This seems like my first year of uni all over again- the same meeting dozens of people and asking them the same questions, the same wandering around uni looking lost, the same new-ness and nerves.
I believe new-ness is good. My second year was wonderful, but also relatively comfortable. One advantage of being a chronic over-thinker is that you end up knowing yourself pretty well, and I was sure it was time for a new situation. Yet good isn’t always easy. When all of your old life is stripped away (even for a temporary period), you have no safety net to fall back on. (But then, safety nets can also be spider’s webs in disguise, can’t they?).
I think big life changes have the power to make you re-evaluate not only yourself but everything your life was built around before.
Coming to grips with my feelings- understanding, accepting and working through them- has been a hard process. Feelings can be wondrous, and allowing yourself to feel, to be affected, is a necessary thing.
But feelings can also be dangerous.